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So, what do you do for a living?

January 12, 2016 by John Locke 2 Comments

“I’m just going to say one word…plastics.  There’s a great future in plastics.” Quote from the movie, The Graduate

As any full time trader knows or as any new trader will soon discover, there will come a time when you will be asked what you do for a living.  I wish it were as easy as stating the word “plastics”, but it isn’t.   So, what should a full time trader say?  How should we describe what we do day in and day out in the most competitive market place in the world?  I may have the key to this perplexing question.  Before giving it away, let’s take a look at various times when I tried to explain what I do (all true stories, well close enough).

Scene 1:

Location: Ski chair lift at 10am on a normal weekday

Conversation:

  • Stranger: “So, are you on holiday or do you work on the mountain?”
  • Me: “No, I’m a trader.”  After seeing a blank look, I respond: “I trade the markets…the stock market”
  • Stranger: “Oh.  So, you are like Kramer from the show Seinfeld?  No one knows what he does.  Now that I think about it, I don’t think he did anything.”
  • Me: “It’s something like that.”

Learning takeaway: None

Scene 2:

Location: Immigration Officer when entering the US

Conversation:

  • Officer: “What do you do for a living?”
  • Me: “I’m a trader.  An options trader / derivatives trader to be specific.”
  • Officer: “Options Trader?  Derivatives?”  He said in a disapproving tone while typing into his computer.
  • Me: Trying to stick up for my fellow traders, “It can actually be less risky to trade options than going with a mutual fund.”
  • Officer: “Hmm…sounds like gambling to me.  Good luck and welcome home.”

Learning takeaway: None, but no glove.  So, that was positive.

Scene 3:

Location: Rotary club

Conversation:

  • Fellow Rotary Member who is an Investment Advisor at a large bank: “So, John, what do you do for a living?”
  • Me: Sensing that I had finally found someone who would truly get it, “I’m a trader. I trade the markets especially the options market.  I used to sell premium on high liquid underlyings with high implied volatility, but I now prefer to utilize an unique butterfly strategy on the RUT.”
  • Bank Rep: Blank look

Learning takeaway: Don’t use an Investment Advisor

Scene 4:

Location: Christmas party

Conversation:

  • Uncle Bob: “Johnny Boy, how’s the market? Got any hot tips!?”
  • Me: “Uncle Bob, to be honest, a drunk dart throwing monkey could pick stocks better than me.”
  • Uncle Bob: Disappointed look
  • Me: “I make money when the market trades in a range.”
  • Uncle Bob: Disappointed look
  • Me: “Buy apple.”
  • Uncle Bob: Happy look

Learning takeaway: Keep Uncle Bob away from the egg nog.

Scene 5:

Location: High school reunion

Conversation:

  • The gist from several conversations with some old classmates who became CFAs, CPAs and MBAs: “John, what do you do for a living?”
  • Me: “I trade options.”
  • The common reaction: “You wild man! That’s some scary stuff.  Nice!”
  • Me: Grinning ear to ear, “Well, yeah. That’s me!”

Learning takeaway:  Milk it when you can!

Scene 6:

Location: My kid’s 2nd grade class

Conversation:

  • Teacher: “Class let’s welcome Emma’s dad, Mr. Wilson. Wilson will talk a little about what he does for a living.”
  • Me: “Hi class. I’m really excited to be here.  What do I do for a living?  Well, I’m a trader.  That means I like to buy and sell things in the stock market.  I try to buy low and sell high.”
  • Class: Blank look
  • Teacher: Getting a little anxious
  • Emma: With a look of “oh brother, not again.”
  • Me: “Well, I…I don’t have to stare at my computer all day since I have a cool strategy that allows me to go and ski when I please.”
  • Class: Eyes start to widen and a look of excitement sets in.
  • One kid: “You can ski all day whenever you want! Emma, your dad is awesome!”
  • Me: “Well, kind of like that” Then deciding to go with it. “Yeah, that’s right.  You see being a trader is a good thing to be.  You can set your own schedule and do what you want to do.”
  • Teacher: Skeptical look.

Learning takeaway: Always emphasize the positives.  Your kid will thank you for it.

Scene 7:

Location: Mother-in-law

The gist of our conversation in my best French as possible:

  • Mother-in-law: “John, I hear you changed professions.  What is it you do again?”
  • Me: “I’m like a stock broker, but I trade our family money.  I play the markets so to speak.”
  • Mother-in-law: With a look of oh dear, my poor daughter: “So, you are a gambler?”
  • Me: “No, no.  I’m a strategic investor.  By doing this I have more time to spend with your daughter and the kids.”
  • Mother-in-law: Looking more relaxed, “So, you can visit us more often?”
  • Me: “Quoi?”

Learning takeaway: Be careful with the positives.

So, after all that, what have I learned as being a trader?  No one really knows what we do or at least can relate to it.  I guess that’s worth living with versus saying I work in the plastics industry.  On another note, I wonder what ever happened to Mrs. Robinson?

Written and contributed by John Wilson

 

 

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Filed Under: John Wilson, Written blog post Tagged With: $rut, apple, bearish butterfly, Butterfly, butterfly strategy, buy low, CFA, CPA, derivatives, derivatives trader, family time, flexibility, full time trader, gambler, gambling, high implied volatility, high liquid underlyings, Investment advisor, Kramer, living, making a living, market place, MBA, more family time, Mrs. Robinson, mutual fund, options, Options market, options trader, pick stocks, Seinfield, sell high, sell premium, set your own schedule, ski, stock broker, Stock Market, stocks, strategic investor, strategy, The Graduate, trade the markets, trader, What do you do for a living

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Daryl Roberts says

    July 14, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    funny sequence.
    Scene 8: to my nephew who when ambitious tried to set up a little hedge fund to trade his own funds, bailed & is now in customer service at Schwab.

    nephew: all premium selling strategies are the same, they’re all at risk for a big draw down with a black swan crash

    me: my worst draw down so far has been 10%. actually have a little more trouble managing upside risks.

    nephew: how did your strategy handle Brexit?

    me: was actually up a little bit on the big open down, struggled on the bounce, down -3%.

    nephew: amazing. I had clients that lost huge amounts.

    Log in to Reply
  2. Stephen Hammit says

    January 19, 2016 at 2:27 am

    Spot on hilarious!

    Log in to Reply

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